Before Saying I Do…
By Christopher Jenkins
As we all know marriage can be a wonderful experience in life. It can be beautiful as well as difficult at times. I’m sure we all have thought once or twice about finding that special individual who we can share our life with if we have not already been blessed to find that special someone. I have contemplated the idea plenty of times. As a young man, I would absolutely love to be married one day with a family but I know that it takes a serious commitment. Promising to be there for better or for worst, in sickness and in health, is much more than just a formality.
Being married means guaranteeing to be there through the thick and thin and the ups and downs. It is something that needs to be thought out and properly evaluated. Both individuals should always bring something to the table making the union as equal as possible. A marriage should never be one sided. When it is one sided and one person is depended on for each and everything, it can cause tension especially if something happens to the main provider and he is unable to continue to provide support.
When getting married, both individuals should understand that everything will not always be black and white. We have to understand that things will never go as planned all the time. Without a doubt there has to be compromise, communication, and trust or a marriage will fail. If children are in the picture, then that makes these components even more necessary. Children need to see their parents work together as one so they are able to understand and recognize a healthy relationship.
If children are able to observe a good relationship when they are young, it will give them a great advantage when they come of age and seek out a partner of their own.. They may not get it right the first time. Knowing what a strong relationship looks like though will most definitely put them on the right track. They will have a better perspective of what to and not to expect. After experiencing a few things for themselves and having a model to imitate, they will eventually become successful at it. They will know in their hearts that they do not have to just settle for anything less than what they deserve.
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It seems like the sacred union has lost a lot of its value in the black community nowadays. We as a people need to work together to try and restore it. I know that sometimes people grow apart and things change, but that is why we should take our time when we are getting to know someone, especially, if we see ourselves possibly being with them long term. We need to be as sure as humanly possible when choosing a partner for life. Always think of the bigger picture before saying I do.